Memoirs: Morrianna Rose Coulsand
by forever-in-my-mind
Summary: The story of love, family, and later on a betrayal.
1. Prologue

First story, an idea I've had for a while. I'll try to post chapters as soon as I can. Please review with thoughts, positive or negative so I can improve the story for your liking.

The world was black, a pure cover of taint. I didn't know where I was, or what had happened. I felt like I was drifting in space. Pure black scene

At first I heard nothing, and then came a buzzing sound that was faintly like voices yelling. A roar sounded loudly, yells of voices familiar. Then I heard him. A voice so well-known, a voice that brought back so many memories sounded in my head.

I saw his face, oh god how I missed him. The cool grey eyes were so peaceful, I felt like I was floating. I felt at peace. His face was my safe heaven giving me the peace. I no longer felt the terror the pain, the misery of what has happened for months.

His mouth opened, "Morrianna…."

No! He's leaving! "No, do not go! Come back! Nathaniel!" The blackness and the heavenly site were pulled away from me. My eyes open and I see Wynne and Alistair. It all rushes back to me: Nathaniel, him being sent away, the betrothal, the betrayal, and becoming a Warden. All of it reality, all of it will make him hate me forever, for what I will have to do. All I hope is he is still alive… _Nathaniel…._


	2. The background, The Meeting, The Parents

My childhood was different than that of my siblings. Fergus was the oldest, the twins next, and finally me. I am the youngest, and also the only girl. I was the doted on daughter. But, unlike most girls, I got to learn how to fight. It started out after an accident years ago, but that's a story for later.

When I was born, like many noblemen's daughters, I had petitions from many fathers for me to marry their sons. But one of the things my father was in agreement of with my mother was that I would marry for love like them, instead of for political reasons like most parents married their daughters out for.

This was one thing many disapproved by most noble families. My mother was so dead set that I would marry for love like she and my father did, like King Maric and Queen Rowan, Arl Eamon and his wife. It was one of the reasons I never fit in with most noble girls. That and the fact I wanted to be able to fight might be part of it. Fergus, the twins, Squire Rory, and I loved to play Grey Wardens when we were little. One afternoon when we were playing, I remember father had Nan come get us because father needed to speak with us. This is where I will began my story..

As we walked to father's office, Fergus starts joking that I was the reason we were in trouble again.

"You know Morri, this is probably about the fact you told Anora Mac Tir that she should go soak her head because no one cares about what comes out of her mouth," Fergus joked, but was still a little miffed at why we were called to father's office.

"It doesn't always have to be something I did! It could be because the twins happened to play that prank on Mother Mallol, why they thought setting up mud to fall on her this morning was a brilliant idea is beyond me," I stated, "and Anora had it coming! She should know better than to tell me of all people that young girls should be wearing dresses, not running in mud and fighting. You'd think from being a war generals daughter she would know the importance…."

"Of being about to protect herself if it comes to it," the twins cut me off.

"I swear sister if you've said it once you've said it a hundred and one more times. Just because you'd rather be a boy instead of a girl like you were born to be isn't our fault!" Daemon continued.

"Yeah, and the prank on Mother Mallol was a long time coming" Daegan exclaimed.

We heard chuckling. "Well Bryce it seems you have raised a bunch of little spitfire sons, and a daughter to put up with them." An unknown voice says.

This stops all of us. We literally freeze in our spots. Well, after crashing into Fergus, which made them, laugh harder.

"Rendon, these are my eccentric children." Father says while laughing.

"Well as much as amusement as this brings you, these two morons are cutting off my arm supple! Get off!" I gasp out trying to move a bit so Fergus's armor isn't cutting into my side as much. Finally, the two idiots are pulled off. I see a hand reached out to help me up. It pulls me to my feet; I see too cool grey eyes. I look away at the twins to glare, smacking them upside the heads.

"HEY! What was that for?" The twins groan and whine at the same time.

"How about acting like idiots? Or crushing me so I can't breathe?" I reply in a saccharine sweet voice. Father and Fergus chuckle at that along with some of the new group. Mother looks so appalled.

"Morrianna Rose! You shouldn't speak to your brothers like that it's…"

I cut her off, "Very unlady like and you should learn to be more proper. And what are you wearing? Young girls should be in dresses, not running around like a little heathen in armor." After this line the boys chime in, even Father who started laughing, each taking a line from mother's speech.

"And look at you boys! Covered in even more mud! And causing such a headache! Is it really so much trouble to stay clean for one day and not cause trouble! And the fighting! Can't you wait until you are older you are going to end up with one less eye or finger! And Bryce you should not encourage them! Look at our daughter. She is dressed in armor and covered in mud!" The look on mother's face changes from anger and exasperation to amusement, mirth dancing in her eyes.

Father continues, "Eleanor, love, you give them this speech every other day. And you know that you would rather have Morri be able to fight, and dressed proper for it than to be in a dress she will get hurt in while out practicing. And you know that Fergus would be there if she got hurt, same if the twins would. And without the twins pranks you would get bored."

"Speaking of pranks," Eleanor starts, "Mother Mallol was telling me about how she was covered in mud when she walked into the chantry this morning. Would any of you like to explain to me how that happened?" I look at Fergus who looks back and we both grin, stepping back away from the twins. The guests look at us and smile when realizing that we gave up our siblings. Father chuckled.

"Let's deal with this later Eleanor. Daemon… Daegan, why don't you two come talk with us after dinner. But on to why I called you here. Children, do you remember the stories I used to tell you of the war." The twins look bored, Daemon not wanting to hear this bit of history again Daegan wants to just go back to playing. Fergus looks at the young boy who helped me up, deep in thought still from when he helped me up.

Rolling my eyes I answer. "You said that you and the Arl of Amaranthine were good friends and fought side by side in the war along with Leonas. And he was there when you married mother and each of us were born. You said that you two haven't be able to visit due to everything that has been going on with the Grey Warden trip that the king went on along with dealing with Highever and Amaranthine."

"Bryce, it would seem that you have very knowledgeable girl over there. And, by the looks of it, she is also a very good range fighter too." The elder man grinned over at father. I am guessing this is Rendon Howe. Next to him is a woman with black hair that goes mid-back, I was guessing this is his wife, the Arlessa Elena. She was daughter of a high nobleman from the Free Marches. Sitting on her lap, was a little girl about the age of three, with light brown hair, and blue eyes just like her mother's. I am guessing this is Delilah, father spoke of her a couple years ago that his friend had a daughter.

Next my eyes lay sight on a boy of nine, a year younger than me, black hair, and an annoying smirk when he sees me look at him. I can tell I will have problems with him in the future, he reminds me of Arl of Denerim's son. And that kid just gives me the creeps. Finally, I see the person who helped me up. He is about Fergus's age, but not as bulky. More of a lithe body structure, the kind that Sire Roland tells me is of a rogue. Hmm, maybe it will be interesting to watch him over the next few days. I study him more closely; his hair is longer than Fergus's or the twins, tied back with two small braids on either side of his hair. His eyes cautious, watching everyone closely, examining them like I was, he paid close attention to how his brother was looking at me. Almost as if, he was disgusted by what his brother could be thinking.

Our eyes meet, a collision of grey storm and emerald green, we both realize what the other was doing and quickly look away.

Father trying not to laugh, finally speaks, "well if I know you kids, you probably are wondering on what you are doing here? And seeing are guest has only taken care of some of the confusion."

"Bryce, stop messing with the children and introduce them. It will make this week a lot more bearable if you weren't acting like you are hiding things…"

Father deflated, "Fine, fine, ruin my fun Eleanor. Children, these are my good friends the Howes."

That sentence was the changing point of all of our futures. We just never knew it.


	3. Fergus and Nathaniel's plan

The dinner was very strange; I was placed between Fergus and Thomas. Nathaniel was on the other side of the table with his sister and the twins. Nathaniel kept glaring at Thomas for some reason. He motioned Fergus with his eyes to look over at time. Both of our parents were sitting at the end of the table in their own discussion over how land has been going.

Thomas kept leaning over to me, touching my arm, and without me actually knowing, looking down my dress. It wouldn't be until later on that I learn why Nathaniel was glaring or why he and Fergus started to hang around me for the rest of the trip. It wouldn't be until months later, when Fergus decided that my training needed to be increased and advanced, would it come handy in a time to protect myself against Thomas later in life.

The next morning as the twins and I were finishing breakfast Nathaniel and Fergus came in. The twins nodded to them and then left. They all looked at my confused face and laughed.

"'Ree how would you like to go hunting with me and Nathaniel today? It would be a chance for you to practice your bow skills since mother doesn't like you practicing here after you almost shot Rory? Though I don't believe it was much of an accident like mother and Nan believe" Nathaniel had a look of pure amusement mimicking my brothers facing, at least he was polite enough to try to hid his laughter. Fergus on the other hand did not.

"Fergus! That was not my fault! Rory should know better than to sneak up on someone shooting. Honestly you would think you were raised…." He cut me off.

"By war hounds… Yes, yes mother has told me many times, and to think of it you and the twins too. Are you coming or not? Because if so we need to leave now while it's still early so mother doesn't catch us kidnapping you."

"I get to rid my own horse this time. Last time you almost killed me, and yourself… and half the guardsmen!"

"Yes dearest sister, I remember that well. But, this time we have a very experienced huntsman with us!" Fergus spoke with glee.

I scoffed at this, "And who would that be? You are not allowed to go out on your own. Not after the event with Arl Eamon's younger brother, how did you even get permission…" I was cut off. I didn't see Nathaniel sneak up behind me or notice Fergus's smirk.

Nathaniel covered my mouth and for the first time, I heard his voice. He chuckled in my ear, "I think I should know enough to be able to keep you safe milady," he turned me around and looked in my eyes with a pleading look, why he had it I do not know. "Will you please accompany us on this hunting trip; you do not even have to touch an animal or weapon. Just come along and keep me company at least, since Fergus is too much of a boar to hold conversation when hunting."

"Fine Fergus, but you get to deal with mother if she throws a fit this time. You know she hates me going hunting. And if she doesn't find me later this morning she will be very unhappy for running off to escape going shopping with them.."

Nathaniel and Fergus share a smirk and then pull me out of the dining hall to go get ready. For some reason I get the feeling that this will not be a good thing.


	4. Awaiting his Arrival

The storm worsened from what it was months ago. Winds howled and rain pelted everything in sight. All the signs for a bad omen for people visiting were not going to ruin my day. Today Nathaniel and his family were coming to visit. I haven't seen Nate in over a year since Cailan's coronation. Since the hunting trip Fergus and Nathaniel forced me to go on, we couldn't wait to see each other and follow the feelings for one another. This trip was a very important one because of the event it celebrated. My birthday. And this was not just any birthday, but the most important one. This was the birthday where I would no longer be considered a child. It marked a new turning in my life, a new start to a hopeful happy ever after.

Although there is a gap between me and Nathaniel we both are willing to try to follow the feelings that started on that hunting trip. I thought for years after wards that it was just hero worship, one-sided. That was until Nathaniel asked me to come up to the roof with him one night.

**Flashback**

As we walked up to the roof we saw the sun was just setting. He turned around and looked straight at me. He looked as if he didn't know what to say, trying to figure it out by staring at me. Our eyes met and it seemed like the shared look lasted forever and we were frozen in that moment. If only I wished because of his next movement and words scared me until I came upon a realization.

While pacing he started muttering, trying not to scare me but confused as to what to do. Finally he stopped and looked at me.

"I don't understand. I thought these feelings would disappear, you are only just a child and yet I cannot help but feel protective of you. I feel the need to keep you safe from everything. I hate the feeling. It is wrong-"

Catching on to what he meant, I had to smile inward. Deciding to play with his mind for a while I played clueless, "What feelings? What could you possibly feel for me that would cause such chaos inside your mind? Please let me try to help you, I would do anything to help someone who causes my heart so much pain by being upset."

He stopped pacing. Turning and looking at me he realized I knew and understood fully and then he did something unpredictable. The feeling of his lips upon mine as he ever so carefully kissed me, just the chaste kiss that he had given me was enough to make my heart soar. Kissing back was the only thing I could do.

**Flashback end**

As I had drifted off into this memory and smiling I had not noticed the being sneak up behind me. Next thing I know arms wrap around my midsection and a hand is placed over my mouth. Panic sets in until I recognize the voice.

"What could have such a beautiful lady so deep in thought." The voice I had longed to hear. Nathaniel. Turning swiftly in his arms, I wrap mine around his neck. My smile widens as my eyes travel along his face as his does to mine. Laying my head against his shoulder I whisper into his ear.

"What would have me deep in thought would be this encounter with a knight who has taken my heart. I am sorry to inform you that I am no longer-" I was cut off by him picking me up and spinning me, making me laugh. Our eyes met and like the moment after our first kiss, his lips drifting slowly down towards mine, him holding me like I was the most precious thing in the land. I could not wait until the dance, where we had planned on announcing our courtship. No longer would we be kept apart in social events or even by Rendon.


	5. Interlude: the days before the dance

People had been bouncing around, the final details have been seen to. The castle was in complete chaos. Morrianna had lost her mind with how many people had shown up, some she hadn't seen in forever, some she had never met, and some she had wished to never see again. She hasn't had a moment to sit down, let alone think. Also she hadn't seen Nathaniel since the night of his arrival.

She had missed him deeply in the period they had been away from each other. And the other night she had barely spent enough time with him. The next morning, Rendon had shown up with the rest of the family. He and her father had sent Fergus, Nathaniel, and Thomas off on missions. She was waiting for the night of the dance to be able to spend a much longer time together. Hopefully he would be able to stay here for a time instead of returning to Amaranthine with his family.

**Time Change**

A few nights later, the night before the night of the dance, I decided to go for a walk. I had been too uneasy to sleep. The news that would be given tomorrow night was enough to make me feel sick and happy at the same time. I decided to change into clothes suitable to walk around the castle in with all the visitors around. Walking down to the stables, my mind wandered. Nathaniel and I could be together in public, be allowed to marry, be allowed to be happy, and to have children. I only hope for my father to accept the proposal of courtship. That is the only thing that could separate the two of us.

As I was walking, I had not noticed someone had been walking behind me. Finally getting to the stables, my follower decided to make himself known to me.


End file.
